Monday, February 13, 2012

Jesus Loves a Little Blackmail*

What would Jesus do? Everything published by Zondervan not withstanding, sometimes that’s not always the best question to ask when confronted by a situation for which the Bible's answers aren't satsifying. Such as, for example, when one is mocked and ridiculed on account of one’s self-proclaimed Pharisaic righteousness.

That’s because Our Substitutionary Atonement’s general instructions regarding such circumstances – turn the other cheek and bless the perpetrators – are, to be perfectly honest, downright effeminate. Not to mention that “turn the other cheek” can be easily misconstrued so as to cause weaker brethren like Peter Ould to stumble in ways he’d normally restrict to the comments field of his own blog. Consequently my response has always been to get legal. As I taught little L. Ron Hubbard and his suckers Sea-Org: throw enough money around and there’s few people a lawyer with a cocaine problem won’t harass on your behalf. However I am now delighted to announce that one of my favorite “anonymous” admirers has developed a whole new strategy. One which I dare say he calls “clever”, although most jurisdictions deem it “blackmail”.

But first a little background. Beloved Sinners might recall that about a fortnight ago an immature young man laboring under the foolish delusion that his identity is unknown to me left a comment on this important homily, in which he made a number of false allegations about a regular reader before then publishing their home address. In response I made the commenter a profoundly generous offer: give me permission to publish his personal details, and I’d in return permit him to indulge his habitual dishonesty. Sadly the ungrateful wretch failed to respond, leading us all to conclude that permitting others to do unto to him as he does unto them doesn’t figure highly in the boy’s soteriology. Bishop Quinine urged me to publish the pathetic imp’s details anyway, insisting “all your Beloved Sinners are longing to call him up in the middle of the night and shoot the breeze - or maybe to breeze his shoot”, but I refused: as a Christian I’m unable to sink to the same depths as our "anonymous" correspondent. 

Then the person with whom he-who-will-not-yet-be-named is obsessed received the following:
Good Morning [NAME REDACTED],
Over the past few weeks, in comments across several blogs that you comment on, you were warned that your continuing behaviour of abusive and insulting comments would have consequences. Since then you have continued your behaviour, as though this was an idle threat. It is not. You have left us with no recourse but to now act to correct your behaviour. 
You now have until Noon Sunday, February 12 2012, to publish a full and unequivocal public apology for your behaviour over the past few years. You will email us to this account the location where this apology may be found. 
• If after posting this apology you make any further blog posting or comment of a derogatory or insulting nature, we will judge that your apology was not made in good faith and will act as though it had not been made. There is NO TIME LIMIT on the exercising of this judgement. 
• If after posting this apology the apology then disappears off the internet, we will judge that the apology was not made. There is NO TIME LIMIT on the exercising of this judgement. 
If you fail to make this apology we will provide to every single member of the Deanery that you currently reside in the full documentary evidence of your placing on the Archbishops' List for admitting Conduct Unbecoming a Clerk in Holy Orders. If you then persist in such behaviour we will widen the scope of those parties deliberately informed of your behaviour. 
Furthermore, at the same time we will make publicly available for anyone to see the full details of your confession of the writing of highly offensive racist and sexist material and we will seek to propagate it as widely as possible on the internet. 
There will be no further warning from us in this matter.   
We will not enter into correspondence on this matter. 
The time and date of the sending of this email is 05:55 Eastern Standard Time, 11 February 2012 and the deadline referred to above is at 12:00 Eastern Standard Time 12 February 2012.
This charming epistle was sent via Gmail, so obtaining header information and originating IP address isn’t as straightforward as it might be (clearly the sender isn’t quite as stupid as his beady-eyed picture suggests), but rest assured the matter has been placed in the hands of all relevant authorities. Meanwhile those less familiar with criminal proceedings than myself, and whom as a consequence fail to appreciate the seriousness of our lurker’s strategy, should consider this advice from a helpful legal site:
Blackmail, in contrast to extortion, is when the offender threatens to reveal information about a victim or his family members that is potentially embarrassing, socially damaging, or incriminating unless a demand for money, property, or services is met. Even if the information is true or actually incriminating you can still be charged with blackmail if you threaten to reveal it unless the victim meets your demand.
While this source speaks from within a primarily Californian context, the law at this point is very much the same regardless of where in the world one may be committing the crime, and providing you’re not in a judiciary which considers expressing love for a person of one’s own gender more heinous than hacking children with machetes (which the threat's author isn’t), the penalty is also similar: “Under California law, extortion or blackmail are graded as felonies and are punishable by up to four years in prison and a maximum fine of $10,000.

 … which just goes to show how much a very arrogant young man is prepared to risk in order to unsuccessfully stop us guffawing at a former curate and his twin.

***

And now, and utterly apropos of nothing (perhaps) I’d like to lift everyone’s mood by dedicating a special song to David Ould (I’ve used your real name, Dobby, to help those searching on Google find you more readily.) When you’ve finished listening you might like to share the sentiment with a couple of your Jensenist uplines. Like you Dobby, they won’t realize on account of their obvious unfamiliarity with the Gospels, but I believe the lyrics are based on something Jesus said


We’re all Father Christian, and the Light of God laughs with us in their faces.


*To be sung to the tune of "Jesus loves the little children".

94 comments :

Anonymous said...

In New South Wales a convicted blackmailer is liable to a maximum of 15 years penal servitude. It is an offence taken very seriously over here. Indeed twice as seriously as a pastor having sex with a sheep is taken in Ghana - http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=229864&comment=0#com

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Fifteen years!!!! I dare say that would prove a serious inconvenience to the young criminal responsible were it to be discovered he'd been getting jiggy with his keyboard while resident somewhere in the Australian state of New South Wales - perhaps in a northern suburb of Sydney, for example.

Sister Sclerosis said...

Our Blessed Lord commanded us to visit those in prison. I am sure Dobby could pass the time enlisting fellow-inmates to sign his petition calling for the sacking of Fr David Head of Gippsland. Perhaps, Father, you could arrange a similar fate for your anonymous fan from Neutral Bay.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Prisons_in_Sydney

smithj1@unisa.ac.za said...

I see that David Ould, like the Ugley Vicar, used to be a chartered accountant.

This tells me something, but I'm not sure what.

Jane (Pretoria, South Africa)

+Graham Queens said...

Deacon David Ould recently slated the Lord Bishop of Salisbury for supporting gay marriage. This is because Dobby is modestly described (by himself) as a "trained theologian" When Dobby engages in theological discussion he is accused of arrogance and being "a liar". As one unbeliever writes "I won't take your behaviour as indicative of Christians in general, I'll simply write it up to your personal immaturity. OK?" It's on the World-wide Web for all to see!
http://heathen-hub.com/blog.php?b=756

Anonymous said...

But Father...everyone knows that blackmail and coersion are the standard procedures used by fundamentalists... you see fundamentalism doesn't work, so when women and gays rear their heads after years of oppression the only way to control them is to keep them close or threaten them. I'm sure there is a job somewhere in Sydney for your friend.

Anonymous said...

It's a 'badge of honour' to be screwed over by fundamentalists because when you come out the otherside of all their abuse, created through the omission of truth, manipulation, surveillance, threats and inuendo... you experience the gift of enlightenment... so my friend, enjoy! And for all those fundies who have ruined people's lives, and never had to say sorry because God said so....here is a gift for you.

Lapinbizarre said...

Fifteen years penal servitude in NSW. Rings a bell.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Jane: I too have wondered about that. Although Mr. Ould's heated defence of his diocese's spectacularly dubious financial (mis)management suggest that he was even less suited to accounting than he is to ministry.
Incidentally, I must say how much I loved your comment concerning "Just as I am" you left on the previous post. You're quite right - and those singing are invariably oblivious to the irony of their words.

+Graham Queens: thank you for a wonderful link. With evangelism as sensitive and Christ-like as Dobby displays at http://heathen-hub.com/blog.php?b=756 it simply amazes me why Jensenism hasn't become a global synonym for revival. Misquoting the person with whom one is attempting to engage, and then becoming embarrassingly offensive when challenged about the dishonesty - whilst arguing that one belongs to a class possessing an inherent ethical superiority - takes a kind of arrogant naivety so remarkable it's hard to believe anybody can resist a call join the happy throngs surrendering their hearts, souls, and intellectual faculties, at St. Jensen's.

Anonymous said...

Once again, religion makes people less moral, not more.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Now come on, little Brad my son, you're painting with too wide a brush now. By the same logical we might as well infer that on the basis of your behaviour all atheists are boring pratts.

+Graham Queens said...

Dobby is an admirer of people who - like himself - can engage in intellectual debate. We hope ++Rowan doesn't accuse Richard Dawkins of being an inferior being in their forthcoming discussion. Like David Ould, he is a "trained theologian", but, unlike Dobby, he has a brain in his head.
http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/28414

Nixon is Lord said...

But atheists never ask to have plus signs in front of their names-which is a sign of self-importance. We don't take up collections. We don't ask for tax breaks. And we sure don't molest kids or hold up signs outside funerals.

Anonymous said...

Fr Troll
Are you sure the intent of that email was blackmail? To me... it looked like a fundie giving a lesson submission. Everyone knows that true submission is a forced apology.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

I see, little Brad. And do all atheists also believe a hypothesis can be proven valid by making idiotic generalizations!

Anonymous said...

It is unlikely that David Ould will ever be ordained to the full Baptist ministry in Sydney since he is known as its main self-promoter (apart from the Jensens). Perhaps he might try to return to the land of his birth and seek ordination there. But since he has slagged off most of the Bishops of the Church of England, he is unlikely to find anyone to lay hands on him. It looks like he is banished to Penal Servitude in Mordor for ever.

Mr Cameron said...

One unemployed Ould in England is enough!

Brad said...

David Ould has a terrible habit of upsetting we drunken unbelievers.
http://www.mycolleaguesareidiots.com/archive/2011/03/13/David-Ould-Failing-it-again.aspx

Lapinbizarre said...

"Us drunken unbelievers", Brad

Lapinbizarre said...

Off topic, Fr Troll, but think you will find interesting. SC Episcopalians reports:


February 12, 2012
SC Diocese Drowning in Legal Bills

An eye-popping 10% of Diocesan spending is for legal expenses

Communicants in the Protestant Episcopal Church in the Diocese of South Carolina (PECDSC) are finally getting a peek at some of the costs of Bishop Lawrence’s imaginary “war” with the Episcopal Church.

They may not like what they see.

According to reports from the Diocesan House, an eye-popping ten percent of Diocesan expenditures in 2010 and 2011 went to lawyers. The Diocese’s legal bills, since Lawrence launched his first attacks on Church leaders in 2009, have totaled nearly a half million dollars, and he's asking the upcoming Diocesan convention to approve another $110,000 for 2012.

Stung by $266,967 in legal bills in 2010 alone, Diocesan leaders ramped up their efforts in 2011 to get parishes to increase giving to the Diocese.

Here's how it looks:

2009 $41,029
2010 $266,967
2011 $169,963
2012 $110,000 (requested)

SC Episcopalians is unaware of any lawsuits or legal actions taken against the Diocese during these years.

http://www.scepiscopalians.com/

[Your new word verification method is truly a pain in the ass!]

Fr Albert Cutey said...

Many homosexualists lust over men with rippling muscles and manly chests. Sometimes, however, they are left with a wimp in an old vest.

http://community.artofmanliness.com/profile/DavidOuld?xg_source=activity

Anonymous said...

There is no website in the world as bigoted, hateful, and unChristian as "Anglican Mainstream" (apart from the inhabitants of Viagraville, that is). At least AM has one supporter to ensure their venom is kept alive.

http://web.singnet.com.sg/~reedsing/

Ms A Solemnis said...

Thank you Fr Cutey. My initial reaction to the David Ould "Art of Manliness" page was that Fr Carte/Ackeroff must be back in business, but it's real, isn't it? Thanks for this gem. What a mixed-up family.

Anonymous said...

Penile servitude?

Chris Sugden said...

There must be many people among your millions of readers, Father, who suffer from insomnia. The quickest way to fall asleep is to use these soporific homilies guaranteed to cause instant unconsciousness.

http://www.emp3world.me/mp3/david-ould.html

Calamity Jane said...

And WHY isn't Fr Carte/Ackeroff back in business? His talent was appreciated by the vast majority of readers and his satire made a huge difference. Why doesn't he just go mainstream and I don't just mean Anglican Mainstream, though that's a possibility.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

ROFLMAO!!!
During the last 8 hours we've had 2 comments left "anonymously" - I'm too busy to trawl back through the logs to see for certain, but the style (quarrelsome and obsessively self-righteous) and subject (the usual obsessions - himself and someone who's been making fun of him) screams "Dobby Ould" louder than a post-gay Hawaiian shirt.

The second of these noted with some angst that his missives were being blocked or deleted - itself highly amusing given his own record here - but the real mirth is in the fact that I wasn't messing with his words of public enlightenment (I realize how strange this will sound to a deacon whose notion of "ministry" revolves around endlessly Googling his own name, but my afternoons and evenings are as a rule far too busy to waste time sitting around waiting for the latest drive-by from Mordor).

Rather it was the Archangel Google itself who removed house-elf's rancid autoinscripturations, classifying them as spam and consigning them to the appropriate wilderness. An apt and wise decision with which I heartily concur - it looks like even the Google servers find the pathetic boy annoying!

A Sydney Tart said...

There is nothing more horrific to a Pharisee from Mordor than women's sexy knickers. Mrs Dobby Ould NEVER wears Lovable Underwear. Sydney Baptists like David Ouold are highly indignant when their subservient wives are compared to Barbie in Knickers.

http://melindatankardreist.com/tag/womens-magazines/

Lapinbizarre said...

Do Sydney Baptists, like Mormons, wear regulation undies? The wives, I imagine, wear the old-fashioned type known in my father's youth as "passion killers" - thick baggy flannel, elasticated below the knee.

Peter Bolt said...

Dobby Ould has always been interested in Mormons and their knickers. He once wrote to them and - needless to say - received no reply. It takes a great talent to be someone who even Mormons find immensely boring.

http://web.singnet.com.sg/~reedsing/mormon%20letter%201.htm

Anonymous said...

I nteresting reading.

Houston Oiler said...

All this aggression. Perhaps that's what got David Heron into the mess in the first place?

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Dobby!!!! Your new identity got you past the Google spam filters - you are a cheeky little house-elf, aren't you!!! Your master will be so proud of you - or have you been keeping this side of your life a secret from him?

Incidentally, we're all very amused that you consider ridiculing those whom angered Christ "aggression", but blackmail is perfectly acceptable. Do you think the court will share these interesting priorities when the sender faces prosecution?

John Piper said...

Whilst googling the words 'House elf Pharisee' I came across the name 'David Ould' - filed under GAFCON. Is this strange creature a member of your parish, Father? Your website is the first point of reference where David Ould appears on the World-wide Web.

Anonymous said...

Some say one man's mess is another's problem.It's interesting how Texas oilers view submission.

Anonymous said...

There are many people on the Internet who realise David Ould is in the wrong religion.. As one commenter on Fr Jeffrey Steele's blog says :
"Is Revd Ould a reverend? I may be mistaken, but I thought he was a seminarian. Whatever monicker he carries, Anglican ain't one of them".
Perhaps, like gay clergy in Gippsland, he should be sacked.

http://frjeffreysteel.blogspot.com/2008/01/david-ould-and-baptismal-confusion.html

Anonymous said...

Have you seen this amazing new website?

http://davidould.blogspot.com/

Lapinbizarre said...

Your link seems to be locking itself up, Dobby, though it shows more than enough. Who could have foreseen that as your twin continues to carve out a more balanced, rational image of himself and will very probably have an honorable future in the ministry, you would drift further and further into the antipodean ether. Golum rather than Dobby, to be sure. Interested, btw, on finally working out how to download the document at your link, that, lacking the guts even to publish your own name, you have redacted it from the document. Vicious Little Cnut, aren't we?

Apropos of nothing, should any (well, almost any) clergyman resident in the diocese of Durham wish, from time to time, to moonlight the odd post or pensée pseudo- or ano-nymously from a US-based blog, I may be contacted at my Yahoo email address.

Anonymous said...

You all need to celebrate your growing diversity!

Honest Bob said...

Prostate Pete might "have an honorable future in the ministry", Lapin, but the Church of England hasn't offered him a job. One would have thought there'd be many openings for former homosexualists who write obsessively about homosexualism.

Lapinbizarre said...

You're no doubt right, Honest Bob; just that the comparison between Pete's current persona and that of his sibling, who seems, at times, to be doing a one-man impersonation of the Gadarene Swine, is a bit stark.

Calamity Jehn said...

It's true there's no hope left for Dobby who has become so self-opinionated he is suffering from Mordor Megalomania. He seems oblivious to the fact that he has lost the little credibility he may have had, and remains only a figure of mirth. He contaminates the internet like a Baptist virus, which is ministerial suicide.

Brother David said...

Lapin, the document is not about Dobby, it is his twin's name that is blacked out. The descriptions of David's naughtiness are about Prostate Pete, are they not?

Lapinbizarre said...

Clarification appreciated, David. Vicious little c..., notwithstanding

Honest Bob said...

Dobby might wish to blame his twin brother, but the blacked-out name on the document is DAVID OULD.

Calamity John said...

A correction has been made here:

http://resting-applebananapear.blogspot.com/2012/02/correctionretired-priest-offends.html

Lapinbizarre said...

Thanks Honest Bob and Calamity. My gut instinct was indeed right. Vicious Little Gadarene Swine.

Brother David said...

So that I know that I understand things correctly, David Ould filed a complaint against David Huron for the naughty things that David Huron published on line against David Ould's brother, Peter Ould?

Honest Bob said...

Yes, Bro David.
And for things said about Dobby himself. It was DAVID Ould who complained - and then posted the complaint on the internet, hiding his own name.

Brother David said...

Thank you for the clarification Señor Honest Bob! This is harder to follow that the twists and turns of a modern-day Statesonian telenovela!

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

After a very busy time I've finally had a chance to look at David Ould's modestly eponymous blogspot, but will not be recommending it to Christian viewers. The creature pictured thereupon - which at I first mistook for a gorilla, until I remembered that gorillas are are really quite amiable creatures, and actually quite intelligent with an honest manly demeanour - is simply too frightening for children and anyone else of a sensitive disposition. Not to mention that I haven't seen a smile that creepy since Bishop Quinine was expelled from his correspondence course with the American Institute of Embalmers.

BTW, little Brad my son: I'm deeply disappointed in you. Everyone's having fun with one of the greatest personifications of the argument for atheism you're ever going to encounter, and the best you can come up with is a cut-and-paste "celebrate your diversity" job. Don't you realize that where the Rev. David Ould ministers (the term he quaintly uses to describe spending hours seated at his computer stalking anyone who dares laugh at him) "diversity" means having readings from Galatians and Colossians?

Anonymous said...

And what about the bit of the complaint that said Fr Heron had 'undermined the Complaints Ministry at the local Sydney Primary School'...all the way from the UK!!!!! What actually happened was that parents who were unhappy with David Ould were talking about him and his attitude. Someone showed them David Heron's blog and they realised that they weren't alone, and others felt the same about Jensenism. I would think that this incident was the underlying reason in having Fr Heron shut down. A CD of 'selected' posts were chosen in a way that evangelical bible bashers choose bible passages to oppress others, and these posts were collated and sent to UK as evidence for disciplinary action. A similar thing happenedabout 18months earlier, when Fr Heron began blogging under his opwn name; many disenfranchised Sydney Anglicans found the blog, and identified with it... there was a need to get rid of him so legal threats were used around a photo that had already been posted on the Anglican Church League website and removed before the threats were implemented. People in the NSW DET were alerted to his blog and his blog was tagged as a "blocked" site for teachers in the public system. There were witnesses to this and teachers thought it was ludicrous that they could look up the IRA but a humourous site advocating gay and women's rights was seen as inappropriate, especially when they were teaching gay students in the public system.
Sydney Anglicans stifle debate at all cost... as David Ould says...We can't have a rift.

Anonymous said...

Sorry...rift

Dobby said...

I am not ceasing to spread hatred because of you, Minister Troll.

http://resting-applebananapear.blogspot.com/2012/02/sydney-star-observer-reports-of-spat.html

Dobby said...

I wish to make it clear I should NOT be confused with an unemployed, post-gay former curate. See comments here:

http://kiwianglo.wordpress.com/2011/05/15/the-next-step-for-break-away-anglicans-for-sydney/#comment-1275

Dr. Seitz said...

Think Dobby's protesting too much where the gay business is concerned? Twins & all that?

Dr Phil said...

You are right, my fellow medic. It must be unsettling to be a clone of a "post-gay".

Anonymous said...

Apropos of nothing, I once read somewhere that there is a specialized niche, straight and gay. for twin porn.

First word of wv "ouldenom". Shame they omitted out the "v".

Sydney Porn Addict said...

We Sydney Baptists are always obsessed with human parts below the belt.

http://www.kendallharmon.net/t19/index.php/t19/article/41184/

A Disgusted Anglican said...

I believe it is utterly disgraceful to suggest that Our Blessed Lord founded Jensenism. This proves that Dobby has completely lost the plot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkDBRa0sM7o&list=UUiPjGZIVMQxGU5d_YzsUZpg&index=5&feature=plcp

Lapinbizarre said...

Many thanks, "Disgusted". I'm a total sucker for butch, reasoned, charismatic preaching.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Absolutely astonishing link, Disgusted Anglican!! (Here's a clicky version for anyone undecided about having a peek.)

Whether it's Dobby's opening, in which - as he fiddles with his notes like an obsessive-compulsive unsure if their hands are really clean - he beseeches the audience to pray that his following pontifications will be received as if they are from God (delusions of grandeur, anyone?) or the way he picks his nose at 6:44 (Honest - see for yourself!!! At least we can now all understand why the Jensenists are so afraid of the Eucharist - does anyone want to receive the Sacraments from someone whose pulpit repertoire includes booger-mining?), or the revelation at 4:26 that Dobby's boss (Lord Jensen perhaps? Or the just the house-elf's long-suffering Rector?) was accused by a local resident in the local newspaper of running a cult. (What are the odds that poor clear-thinker was the previous subject of our boy's penchant for stalking?)

Rest assured, My Beloved Sinners, that I've saved a local copy of the masterpiece and am having endless fun capturing screen-shots. Yes, the nose-picking is gross. But also very funny, so don't think anyone's going be spared seeing it. Often.

Even funnier though, is the fact that Dobby appears to have posted this himself, and have absolutely no idea of how it makes him and his sect appear. Whatever they teach at that seminary the Jensensists must attend it's certain self-insight isn't on the curriculum.

Anonymous said...

A House Divided is worth checking out. Recorded a couple of days later and Dobby's a tad more relaxed and less self-conscious.

Anonymous said...

As I said some parents at the local primary school were concerned about what was being taught and had issues with David Ould... obviously felt the approach was cultish, which in my mind it is. David Heron's blog was being read by some parents and David Heron's blog gave those people a voice...a voice that does not exist in Sydney. That video was posted Jan 2011 and David Heron's complaint was in Feb, 2011. I hope David Heron is going to put together an appeal to clear his name. There was another Anglican who had been a minister in the Sydney Diocese. That man endured incredible slander from members of the Sydney Diocese via his blog and other blogs, when he spoke out against the Sydney Diocese. Also Asian porn was downloaded on the site and the slander extended even further than the blogs. That is how some members of the Sydney Diocese function and Sydney Anglicans wonder why their name is mud outside their cult.

Anonymous said...

As I said some parents at the local primary school were concerned about what was being taught and had issues with David Ould... obviously felt the approach was cultish, which in my mind it is. David Heron's blog was being read by some parents and David Heron's blog gave those people a voice...a voice that does not exist in Sydney. That video was posted Jan 2011 and David Heron's complaint was in Feb, 2011. I hope David Heron is going to put together an appeal to clear his name. There was another Anglican who had been a minister in the Sydney Diocese. That man endured incredible slander from members of the Sydney Diocese via his blog and other blogs, when he spoke out against the Sydney Diocese. Also Asian porn was downloaded on the site and the slander extended even further than the blogs. That is how some members of the Sydney Diocese function and Sydney Anglicans wonder why their name is mud outside their cult.

Anonymous said...

I hope David Heron is going to put together an appeal to clear his name.

That would be something to see.
From the documents provided it seems that

1 The Registrar was completely in agreement that Heron's behavior was "conduct unbecoming" and not an isolated instance but a sustained pattern of behaviour. Was he wrong in this?

2 Heron signed a full admission of the complaint and consented to the rebuke by the bishop.

Perhaps, of course, he should have refused to sign - - in which case it would have gone to a full disciplinary tribunal, the outcome of which would have probably been a removal of orders. I think it's more realistic to conclude that he got off lightly.

Anonymous said...

As I said some parents at the local primary school were concerned about what was being taught and had issues with David Ould

Then they should complain officially about him and see how far the process gets them. Or have they? Can anyone point to such an official complaint? Heron was "found guilty" of the complaint brought against him. If Ould has done something wrong then surely he will also be "found guilty" since so many here are utterly convinced he has done something terrible.

Brother David said...

I am convinced that he has done many things wrong. Or I should say that you have done many things wrong. Watch it Deacon, you are behaving as the son of a bitch folks say that you are.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Couldn't have put it better myself, Brother David: well said!

BTW - isn't the house-elf's habit of referring to himself in the third person cute?

A Spokesman said...

Dobby says "I think it's more realistic to conclude that he (David Heron) got off lightly".

Unlike Sydney, the Diocese of Durham doesn't persecute sinners endlessly. David Heron is very happily retired and was pleased to receive a "formal rebuke" before sailing off into the distance for a life of leisure and contentment. A "disciplinary tribunal" might have interrupted his holiday plans. Fr Heron made it widely known to his parishioners, colleagues and friends he'd received a "rebuke" about his blog. And EVERYONE laughed!

Mike Hunt said...

Dobby still crowing anonymously on his dunghill. Loved the insecure, neurotic fidgeting that characterizes your You Tube videos, tho' I doubt it will cut much ice with the Jensens. Keep 'em coming, tho'. Great entertainment.

Brother David said...

Yes Mike, Dobby almost guarantees that he will never become a priest. No parish would want him for their rector after viewing these videos. Could you imagine having that to look forward to Sunday after Sunday.

J K Rowling said...

Stop criticising my creation. He has appeared in many movies.

Anonymous said...

Fr Troll it seems as though Sydney Evangelicals are lacking in graciousness and humility, when it comes to dealing with fellow Christians who are more inclusive of women and gays. The lot at Stand Firm are just a product of the culture that has arisen out of a male dominated diocese. I think the root of the problems lies in the indoctrination programs and procedures implemented through Moore College, The Ministry Training Scheme and the Youth Ministry, and then reinforced through Matthias Media material, and the Eternity magazine. I think a dance party invitation should be extended to those who indoctrinate in such a manner that they create rude tunnelled-vision individuals. I say let's take the party to a new level!

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Spokesman: Clearly David Ould can't conceive of a rebuke not jnvolving thumbscrews and a prolonged flogging.

A New Zealand Spy said...

"Mr. Ould (and his Sydney co-members of A.C.L.) ought really to be concentrating on its own affairs in the Archdiocese of Sydney, which contains the largest and most active LGBTQ community in Australia– and maybe the Western world." -

Father Ron Smith

http://kiwianglo.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/sydney-con-evos-protest-at-gay-appointment-in-gippsland/#comment-1292

David Cronenberg said...

Profound preaching runs in the family.

http://vimeo.com/1573339

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

What’s fascinating is Dobby’s persistence here. He knows he’s been exposed as dishonest and pathetic, yet he keeps returning for another thrashing – the compulsive masochism speaks volumes about his attraction to such a vapid and dysfunctional theology as the Jensen’s psuedocalvinist Puritanism.

The desperate craving for attention - any attention, even the derision associated with recognition as a coward and fantasist - also helps explain why he has so enthusiastically exchanged the Truth of God for such a nasty parody: it comes from the same psychological place as the Phelps clan’s terrible yearning for notoriety. Whatever it was that was going on during the 80s in an Anglo-Austrian family of Thatcherites we can be sure of one thing – it wasn’t healthy.

Dobby said...

I am a member of the Aryan Master Race. This proves that an Ould is superior to women,God,gays and Americans.
http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/28446

Neutral Bay Nosepicker said...

I am advising people on how to use the Sacred (PowerPoint) Screen when imparting lies, bigotry and homophobia.
http://www.communicatejesus.com/2012/01/what-is-the-goal-of-preaching-a-sermon/

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

For those wondering I’d like to stress that it was purely coincidence that Dobby’s post defending the most specious theological argument since Thomists allegedly speculated about the number of angels capable dancing on a pin appeared just 4 days after I mentioned his diocese’s fondness for Trinitarian heresy in a comment at Calamity Jane’s place - needs the Nicene Creed when they can have George W. Knight? (those interested can learn more here). After all – the agenda at Viagraville couldn’t possibly be set in response to me – could it??? LOL!!!

Incidentally: I’ve finally watched Deacon Ould’s second sermon linked to above. What can I say? (Aside from “Please God, can I have 24 minutes and 38 seconds of my life back?”) Sydney fundamentalists like to make a noise around the blogs about their “biblical” preaching, but if that’s any indication… oh dear!!! I’ve heard Four-Square prosperity hucksters with a better understanding of a text’s historical context. Honestly – I believe that was the very worst “exegetical” presentation I’ve ever encountered: there are Jehovah’s Witnesses who approach the bible with more integrity. Absolutely unbelievable!!!

Perhaps one of the regulars from Mordor could let me know something of the context in which Dobby was preaching (send an email if you don’t wish to leave a comment here: of course your confidentiality will be respected). I’m fascinated to know if that disaster was typical of Jensenist preaching? And what sort of demographic does the church he’s addressing attract? Was he addressing an established congregation, or some local “emergent” experiment and just trying to be “relevant”? Do people in Sydney really sit through sermons that bad week after week?

Anonymous said...

davidould.net - Luke - Division and Rejection

www.davidould.net/index.php?/blog/.../luke_division_and_rejection


19 Feb 2010 – I'm off this weekend to speak at a house party for St. Matthias Evening ... I've been asked to work through Luke's gospel and bring out the themes of division and rejection that are ... David Ould 19 February 2010 at 4:59 pm

...but when you click on the link the article is no longer there, although it was yesterday. From what I read, David presented a series of not 4 but 5 sermons...in the Phillip Jensen tradition. St Matthias is actually Phillip Jensen's old church, and many a prominent journalist from that church, have left the public media arena to turn their hand at Sydney Anglicanism in some form...be it as a minister, or in publisher.

Dobby said...

It is possible for millions of my fans to download my inspiring words onto their ipod to enable easy listening whilst sitting on the toilet. You will see on this link a YouTube commendation by my dear friends in Syria who, like the Jensens, believe in dictatorship and tyranny.

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=11087209&song=The+one+where+Jesus+Makes+us+His+Friends

Neutral Bay Nosepicker said...

I have posted a new video of Sydney's most distinguished theologian (next to myself, of course!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mVkmL_sjl8&context=C3e4f2e9ADOEgsToPDskJTz5uGYuBpms1ZO7zrJqPd

A Trained Theologian said...

I have href="http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/28449a> an incomprehensible load of rubbish to Viagraville.

A Bigot said...

As a reader of Sydney's foremost Gay Newspaper, I am appalled that Bishops allows drunkards and homos to enter the Baptist ministry.

http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/28448

Anonymous said...

Off topic.
A commenter on Dobby's brother's website says:

"A husband may NOT take his woman from behind, even if he is careful to insert his penis in the right orifice, because the Church argues, it is animal to do it that way. What goes unspoken is that the wife presenting her butt to her husband might seem like an Eve-ish invitation to indulge in a little anal".

What a strange theology the Oulds have.

http://www.peter-ould.net/2012/02/20/coalition-for-marriage/

Lapinbizarre said...

"..... an Eve-ish invitation to indulge in a little anal"? Where in the Bible does poor, put-upon Eve get stuck with this one?

Ms A Solemnis said...

Problem is all of this is Mother's Milk to an Attention-Junkie like Dobby.

A Sydney Voyeur said...

Dobby says "What goes on in our bedrooms while private is also a public matter".
I DEMAND to see new videos from the nose-picking Neutral Bay deacon in the nude.
http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/28454

Dobby said...

I have today written to the Bishop of Gippsland to DEMAND to know what David Head does in his bedroom. I am obsessed with gay sex.

http://www.standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/28454

Anonymous said...

It is curious, is it not, that our Bible loving, conservative neighbors seem so hot on the verses of the Bible that cost the majority of their congregations so little. Of course there are one or two exceptions – say those who are ‘post-gay’, though alas these tend to fall foul of ‘Little Jack Horner Syndrome’. Lev 18:22 is trumpeted with gay abandon, while the implications of Matt 5: 39 & 40 just pass them by.

However I think care is needed with some of the nastier commenters – they too should also labor under burden of Matt 5:39 &40 and move on from their own fixations and hurts. As the e-mail above uses British English spelling, it is fairly easy to deduce from whom the e-mail arose. And while it may be blackmail, I think the very fact that this person has not made mention on his blog of some of the more embarrassing information he has concerning a certain commenter - is something that needs to be considered. If the tables were reversed I wonder if such magnanimity would be extended to his opponents.

As my 4th grade teacher used to say: ‘Two wrongs, don’t make a right...’

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